Hello random people of the internet. This is my blog and website where I will be talking about many topics ranging from video games, technology, music, movies, and the everyday horrors of everyday life!
Blog #1
I haven't been doing that well. I've gotten a lots of new meds and went to mental hospital. I still feel the same as I did but just more numb which doesn't feel good because crying helps alievate the pain I can get more happy now ,but I don't see the point if I can't access my sadness when I need to. I wish I wasn't this way and I could just be nice girl. I'm about to start school but I'm so nervous about the cost and since I'm moving out everything is going cost so much more. I'm not even sure if I will able to keep my job neither sure if it can pay the bills. I'm really worried about those things and how I just feel like an overall failure since I rely on my mom so much. However, she wants to help me but it just feels weird since she doesn't respect my transition ,so it makes me feel stupid that I rely on her. But there's nothing better I can do ,so I guess take it or leave it. I really just want to kill myself and not have to worry about these things anymore. I really can't take it anymore. I don't want to go to some stupid hospital. I just want to die and not worry. There's too much going on in this stupid brain. I know others think of me as some stupid idiot and they would right. I wish I had a purpose or just someone who can make me feel okay and secure. My mom sucks at talking and always comes off as condescending ,and I try to point it out but I know she doesn't care. She goes to therapy and still doesn't seem to want to accept the fact that I'm her daughter. I just want to die. I really want to die.